Business jokes
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When Bernard got fired from his last job they were really tough. They made him hand back his keys to the executive toilets, return his company credit card, give back his company car, and even give back his ulcer!
Another friend of mine is a very successful businessman. He started with five thousand pounds - now he owes fifty-five million.
The Ten Commandments Of Employment
If it rings, put it on hold.
If it clunks, call the repairman.
If it whistles, ignore it.
If it's a friend, stop work and chat.
If it's the boss, look busy.
If it talks, take notes.
If it's handwritten, type it.
if it's typed, copy it.
If it's copied, file it.
If it's Friday, forget it!
Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. Consequently, it wound up that Nobody told Anybody, so Everybody blamed Somebody.
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