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The best humor! Business jokes and funny stories.

An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building.

"Your workers, they're escaping!" cries the visitor. "You've got to stop them."

"Don't worry, they'll be back," says the American. And indeed, at exactly one o'clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break.

When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says, "Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?"

"Forget the machines," says the visitor. "How much do you want for that whistle?"

'I'm very sad to announce this morning, girls, that Miss Jones has decided to retire,' said the principal at morning assembly. ' Now we will all stand and sing this morning's hymn....now Thank We All Our God.'

A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money.
By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention .... "

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse. One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold ten percent of Arnold's wages to pay for the repairs. "How much will it cost?" asked Arnold. "About $4,500," said the owner.
"What a relief!" exclaimed Arnold. 'I've finally got job security!"

Boss: "I've decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed.
"Knock knock."
Employee: "Who's there?"
Boss: "Not you anymore."